a year in review v2.09

So for the first time in my life I made New Year's Resolutions at the beginning of 2009 and actually stayed focused on them throughout the year. There were three of them - here's what they were:

• Read 24 Books In 2009
• Do A Physical Activity For At Least 5 Minutes Each Day
• Go On A Mission Trip

Well, I didn't accomplish everything 100%, but I was pretty happy with how things panned out.

READING
Starting with the books, I read or listened to the following books throughout the year:

1. William P. Young - The Shack
2. J.I. Packer - Knowing God
3. Charles Fishman - The WalMart Effect
4. Bob Woodward - The War Within
5. Stu Weber - Four Pillars Of A Man's Heart
6. Malcolm Gladwell - Outliers
7. Doris Kearns Goodwin - Team Of Rivals: The Political Genius Of Abraham Lincoln
8. Jack Coughlin - Shooter
9. Malcolm Gladwell - The Tipping Point
10. John Bunyan - John Brown
11. Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together
12. Greg Mortenson w/ David Oliver Relin - Three Cups Of Tea
13. David Ignatius - Body Of Lies
14. Donald Whitney - Spiritual Disciplines For The Christian Life
    

Not quite 24... I got hung up on some really long ones midway through the year. There were some winner books in there, and some that were just a waste of time. I wrote about The WalMart Effect earlier in the year, which I thought was really fascinating. Other highlights were the Abraham Lincoln biography, Outliers, Life Together. Body Of Lies was a waste, and so was Shooter.

Three Cups Of Tea by Greg Mortenson was a particular standout title. This book captured the life of Mortenson, from his early days as a climbing aficionado to his life-threatening K2 summit attempt. Following that ill-fated debacle, Mortenson was saved by a remote village of alpine Pakistani's who nursed the climber back to health. Endeared to the villagers, Mortenson grew to know them in a way no other Westerner has before, and through this close relationship realized what a dramatic detrimental effect the lack of proper education has on the people of Pakistan. Greg dedicated the next decades of his life running the Central Asia Institute, a non-profit foundation that builds schools (which educate both boys and girls) in the remote towns of Pakistan and Afghanistan. It becomes apparent throughout the book how critical proper, non-biased education is to these people, not only for the well being of the citizens, but because the lack of education can be linked directly to the rise of terrorism and jihad-schools in these areas. Mortenson believes that the ONLY way to end terrorism in the Middle East is through education, and the importance of what he continues to do through the CAI is apparent in this book.

WORKING OUT
I started running this year! That was a first, because, well, I hate running. But Steph and I tried to run regularly, especially throughout the spring and summer this year. I stayed pretty consistent on doing something physical most days of the week, but it's an area I need to continue to improve on. Ongoing goal for next year I guess.

MISSION TRIP
And finally, we made it to Greece this year on a mission trip supporting the International Mission Board for the Baptist Church. I wrote about this at earlier in the year as well right here. It was a fantastic trip and a life changing experience!

i forgot to title this post

You know those annoying blog posts where people say, "Gosh, I sure haven't posted in a while" and then say, "I'm really sorry it's been so long since I've written".

Yeah, this is one of those.

So let's get beyond all that and just dive right in. What should I write about?

I could make fun of Tim. That's always fun. But he doesn't use the internet anymore, so I won't waste my time.

American Idol? I think Danny Gokey will win. Adam has a great voice, but he's kinda like Bono - he's always operating at 110% and it just gets grating. Plus the make-up and girl pants is a little creepy. But the final three will be Danny, Adam, and Allison - that's what I say.

We're going to Greece in June, fulfilling Resolution #3 for 2009 to go on an international mission trip. More on that in a later post.

I'm reading a biography on Abraham Lincoln right now that is absolutely fascinating, albeit extremely long. It's called Team Of Rivals and is about how Lincoln leveraged his political genius in appointing his three key political rivals to key cabinet positions in his administration. A cool fresh look at Lincoln.

I'm lovin' this new Irish worship band called Bluetree. I'm the biggest Delirious fan of all time so I'm naturally drawn to Bluetree's style, which is a mesh of Delirious and David Crowder. Steph and I got to see them play a couple weeks ago in Nashville, their first time performing in the U.S. as a full band. Was absolutely incredible. I love this song:

Favorite TV shows of the spring, in order: Fringe, 24, Prison Break (though this series is finally wrapping up in a couple weeks), The Office, and Deadliest Catch.

Speaking of TV, HAL 9000 seems to be making a resurgence in television commercials this spring... you know HAL, the artificially intelligent, rational, perceptive, and incredibly creepy supercomputer from 2001: A Space Odyssey. First he showed up in a Quizno's commercial, then in a Jared Jeweler's commercial. And now he's portrayed as a robotic arm in a commercial for Denny's. Anyways, just an observation.

So that's all I've got for now. I'm gonna finish watching Sig yell at his crew on Deadliest Catch and head to bed.

readings update

I'm not much for book reviews, but I did commit to reading 24 books this year, so here's a little update on what I've been partaking of. I know this is a long post, but if you find something in here that interests you, or baffles you, or infuriates you, leave a comment and we can discuss:


The Shack by William P. Young
As a rule I try to avoid these Christian pop-culture type books (yet somehow I always end up reading them anyways). This book has caused such stir and I decided I needed to give it a look so I could make some decisions for myself. There are two types of reviews for The Shack: I would say that most people who read it claim it is the most insightful, life-changing, incredible most wonderful book ever that grants them a completely new picture of who God is. Then there are those who denounce the book as complete heresy.

I'll say this - it's a well written and intriguing story that forces you to ask questions about the relationship between God and mankind, and the relationship of God within the Trinity. It poses thought provoking illustrations of God, but it would be a stretch to say it outlines scriptural truths. The primary gripe people have with The Shack is that God the Father is portrayed as a heavy-set, gregarious, black woman.

At first my thought was, well, who I am to say what God does or does not look like? He's God and He could just as easily present himself as a white-haired, elderly gentleman or as a gregarious, black woman, right? Well, the issue isn't whether He could or could not. The issue is that we are ascribing images to God the Father that we do not have the right to ascribe. I didn't fully understand the ramifications of this prior to reading J.I. Packer's book Knowing God where he demonstrates the danger, and commandment against, creating images of God whether they be physical, pictorial, or textual.

"You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth". - Exodus 20:4

The danger is that when we make representative images of a God who in all literal terms defies comprehension and is beyond our realm of reality and vision, we end up containing God, and limiting his omnipotence. The very act of ascribing a representation to God places us in danger of making the created image the focus of worship, and elevating the image above God Himself.

The WalMart Effect by Charles Fishman
This was a truly fascinating book about the largest, most powerful, and successful company in the history of the world. It was a very insightful look into the company from all different angles including suppliers, manufacturers, competitors, enthusiasts and dissenters, employees, ex-employees, shoppers, non-shoppers, and so on.

The book doesn't take sides, but rather offers a careful analysis at both WalMart's positive and negative effects on local communities, regions, the country, and even the world at large. It's neither a pro-WalMart book nor an anti-Walmart book... but it forces you to think twice about how you shop, and where you shop. And above all it portrays WalMart as the very thing it strives to be... a retailer that provides "Always Low Prices", regardless of the cost to vendors, economies, and even the customers.

This one is easier to sum up in some fascinating tidbits of information:

• 97% of the population of the United States lives within 15 miles of a WalMart
• Each week 100 million Americans shop at WalMart
• From 1997 to 2004, the US added 670,000 new retail jobs. 480,000 of those — 70% — were at Wal-Mart.
• When WalMart institutes changes that result in lower cost-of-goods, they pass the savings to both the vendors AND the customers, but not themselves.
• WalMart won’t pay to speak with vendors: vendors are required to provide Wal-Mart with a tollfree number, or accept collect calls.
• Of the largest 10 suppliers to Wal-Mart in 1994, five subsequently went bankrupt or failed.
• WalMart isn’t just Proctor and Gamble’s largest customer — they’re as big as P&G’s next nine customers combined.
• Consistently, as companies increase the share of their business with WalMart, their operating margins decline accordingly.
• Does WalMart create or take away jobs? Both. A new Wal-Mart may hire 300 people, but on average, 250 people at nearby businesses will lose their jobs, and about four local businesses will close.
• A study of Iowan small towns showed that restaurants near WalMarts had 3% increases in business, because of increased traffic, but nearby towns without WalMarts lost 47% of their retail sales, as customers drove out of town to shop at WalMart.

The book goes on, and on, describing in incredible detail how all of WalMart's behavior - their good behavior, and even their seemingly evil behavior - can be explained by the fact that the company is simply pursuing it's vision of "Always Low Prices". And that one consuming idea has shaped with profound effect an entire nation of consumers and their economy.

The War Within by Bob Woodward
This one was a tough read for me, not that the content wasn't interesting, but that it was just a dry read (well, listen). It's about the enduring conflict that is the war in Iraq and the war of ideology, strategy, and policy within the Bush administration that has amplified the painful effects of the conflict. It's not a book about why we went to war, but about the fact that we are at war and we need a new strategy to get out of it.

The war has been so convoluted and confusing that it's hard for me to draw hard line conclusions about it, especially before, but even after reading this book. Some basic thoughts that have solidified in my mind though:

• President Bush throughout this entire war truly believed in the mission he was pursuing, knowing his decisions weren't popular, but in their difficulty were the right thing to do.
• This absolute confidence regarding the war were both President Bush's strength, and his downfall.
  
• In spite of his resolute stance towards the war, the "mission" was never clearly defined, the goals were never discussed at length within the administration, and success was never outlined for the public.
• This lack of clarity around a reason and mission for the war is what has made it so difficult for me to support the last few years.
  
• Everyone has made personal judgments about the war over the past several years, and we're entitled to those judgments because we live in America; but I know I want to be cautious about condemning too much because there is so much that we don't know because there is so much classified information that won't be made public fo years to come.
• And so whether it was "right" or "wrong" to go to war, I'm unwilling to say because I simply don't know, and don't ever expect to know.
• Regardless of whether it was right or wrong, Woodward gives credit to Bush for seeking out new strategy when it was apparent that the war was stalling out in 2006/07, and this "surge" strategy was at least partially responsible for the decreased levels of violence in Iraq throughout 2008.
  

One last thought about all this: We think short term about the war because, obviously, we want it to be over and we want our troops to come home. And truly, I do hope the levels of violence in Iraq do quickly lessen, but we're fooling ourselves if we think America is going to provide a quick fix and suddenly withdraw and everybody gets to come home. The situation in the Middle East is a long term problem and now that we're there, we'll likely be there for the next 50 years. The radical terrorism that breeds in the Middle East is not unlike the radical communism that bred in Eastern Europe 50 years ago, and if throughout this whole process in Iraq the United States can start to influence the region with democracy and begin to root out radical terrorism, then that is a positive outcome of this whole thing.

resolutions v2.09

I generally don't make New Years Resolutions, and I've never written any of them down before. But, well, I've got a few on my mind, so I'll jot them down and we'll see what happens over the next 12 months:

Resolution #1: Read 24 Books In 2009
I enjoy reading, but since college I've been taking a long sabbatical from reading books. I made a little progress here last year with the reading of "4 Hour Work Week" and "Surprised By Hope", but two books is certainly not enough reading. I also "discovered" audio books, and when I say discovered I mean I finally got myself over the mental hurdle that "listening to a book isn't really reading it". I still acknowledge that listening isn't nearly the same as reading, but I don't have time to read everything I want to, and listening is better than nothing at all.

So, when I say read I mean that I will either read or listen to 24 books this year. My hope is that this reading will be diverse - business, theology, fiction, etc. I'm part of a men's Bible study this year, and within that we'll be reading 6 theology books, so that's covered. Business books are easy to do on audio book - I'm currently listening to 'The WalMart Effect', and it's absolutely fascinating. I'll probably update on others as I knock them out.

Resolution #2: Work Out, Or Do Some Physical Activity, For At Least 5 Minutes Each Day
I just have to face facts. I'm basically the most lazy person in the world. And I know that 'working out' for 5 minutes a day is hardly working out, and I know that it's a really sissy thing to write down on this list, but I have to start somewhere. I've tried to make resolutions of sorts before regarding health and fitness, and I always fall far short of what I hoped for. Five minutes is intentionally an overly-manageable target, and hopefully it will turn into more than that.

Resolution #3: Go On A Mission Trip
Steph and I have been wanting to do an oversea missions trip since we started attending Grace a few years ago, and timing / finances haven't come together yet. But this year we're going to do it - don't know where yet, or how, but we will. In fact, Steph is filling out her application right now.. looks like I better find my passport.

i want to be like that

I just received the kindest, most genuine, most encouraging and uplifting email from one of the men I most admire and respect in this world.

I used to work with this particular guy. He is an executive within the company, well respected across the industry, and certainly at the top of his class in his particular field. He is brilliant, passionate and intimidating. You don't want to sit across the table from him. Not necessarily the type of person you'd generally expect a kind, genuine, encouraging email from.

And yet in the last few years I've gotten to know this man, I've come to realize that at his core he is a person who cares deeply for other people. He is compassionate and wise. He speaks with truth into your life, directly and honestly. That's not to say he is putting on an outward front in his professional life - he really is brilliant and intimidating, and that is the result of how much he loves his job.

But it's been incredible to get to see this personal side of him the last few years. Humbling that I get to experience this side of him. And I think to myself, 'I want to be like that' - to exude such grace and encouragement and kindness to other people, and to do it without hesitation. Who am I but just a little guy in his eyes - he's an important executive - but he doesn't care... really don't think he even sees that. I'm just a friend, a brother to him. Just amazing to me.

I'm uplifted by the fact that I am encouraged by other people like this. I observe these traits and I want to see them in my own life.

I think that takes practice.

my thoughts on last night's election

November 5, 2008 is the first day in the history of the world that an African American has ever been elected President of the United States Of America. That in and of itself is a reason to celebrate as a country. That is no small feat in the course of human events.

I am a social conservative and an economic libertarian. I think Barack Obama's political policies and agendas are foolish and wrong for the country. I did not vote for him.

But I can still appreciate - and celebrate - the fact that the country has made this great leap forward as a democracy, and I am proud of us for that fact.

---

All that being said, America made an unwise decision last night in regards to political policy. But I'm not really surprised by that decision though. We've grown weary and disillusioned with the war in Iraq. The economy is in the bucket and we're fearful for our future (not to mention whether or not we'll have jobs next week). I was pretty mad myself for having to pay flippin' $4.45 / gallon in gas not just a few weeks ago.

'Change' is a pretty simple and compelling platform in times like these.

The next 4 years are going to be rough and painful for us social conservative economic libertarians. At the same time, this 'loss' - presidentially speaking - is exactly what we needed.

Going into the election, I was never a huge fan of McCain. I mean, who was? How could the Republican party possibly expect to show up for the big homecoming dance with a candidate like McCain and think they could get a date. It was wrong - all wrong; he exuded too much of the 'rich old white guy' political party that everyone had come to hate over the last decade.

In a political atmosphere where Obama was the new, slick rock-star, the Republicans tried to compete by trying to come off more Democrat. It didn't work.

You can't out-Democrat the Democrats. The Democratic stronghold would never support a pseudo-liberal like McCain, and in going through the charade, the Republican party deserted their loyal base.

---

We could go on about everything the Republican's did wrong the past two years. But it's pointless to do so. Frankly, for the long-term health of the party, and the eventual turnaround of the country, I'm glad we're in this spot. The Republican party has 4 solid years to rebuild - maybe 8, who knows - and they must rebuild.

The Republican party needs a redesign more than a Zune in an Apple store.

But it can't be a simple facelift - some marketing ploy to make the "Republican party cool for the 21st Century". That's too short sighted. This needs to be an honest to goodness reorganization. A restructure that restores the faith of the American people in a party that is pursuing what's best for the country and it's people.

The Republican party needs to inspire and motivate us again.

Personally, the root ideals of the Republican party - which currently lie buried beneath layers of personal agenda and political mumbo-jumbo - are invigorating to me. The idea that I can shape my own destiny. The idea that my liberty is not dependent on the government. The idea that democracy is worth protecting, and spreading. The idea that freedom is a gift which enables us to be productive, generous, and gracious, and demands that we be humble.

This year, Barack Obama bought the vote of the American people through fiscal promises and uber-slick marketing tactics.

In four years, I hope to see a Republican party that compels the vote of the Amerian people through an inspired vision that motivates us to strive once again for the historic ideals of our country. Not a bleak socialistic future rooted in government reliance and self-defeat; a liberating future where once again WE are the American people.

If they play their cards right, the election of Barack Obama may very well be the very best thing that ever happened to the Republican party.

mixed feelings about daylight savings time

Today we got an extra hour of sleep, and by midnight last night I had already wasted it by staying up late reading a book (of all things).

I have mixed feelings about the ol' daylight savings time thing. After a little Wikipedia research I now realize that summertime is actual daylight savings time, and now here in the fall / winter we're on standard time.

I guess I wish we could be on daylight savings time all year long without this fall back in fall business. It's in the wintertime that I wish we had more daylight in the afternoon (right when the sun is setting at 4:00 on a January afternoon). Of course I realize that by doing this, we'd be celebrating sunrise at 9:00 AM. Hmph.

The flip side of all this though is that falling back in fall is a nice signaling of the seasons for me. Beginning now - the next two months - is my favorite time of year, what with Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and all that goes with it. I can't wait!!

So as it's now 4:30 in the afternoon, and the sun is beginning to set, I'm thinking ahead to a giant roast turkey on our dining room table, and that somehow makes it worth it.

i voted

Tim Ferriss pointed out today - while early-voting in San Jose - that no one checked his ID before he exercised his Constitutional right.

"Interesting," I thought... "no one really checked my ID either". I mean, I showed up at the polling place and handed them my voter registration card, but my card is basically a piece of paper with my name and address printed on it. Easily forged with any inkjet printer and cardstock paper.

So what gives? Why didn't they cross-check my voter card with my picture ID? It just seemed to me that there wasn't a lot of diligence in that regard.

But the touchscreen voting machines worked very well. And there was no line. Overall, my Nashville voting experience went extremely well.

how not to buy a used car

As you now know, I've gotten myself a new job. As such, the wonderful carpooling arrangement Steph and I have had for the last 3 years is being disrupted and we need to get a car so she can get to work. Unfortunately, the vast majority of my time off so far has been dedicated towards this end, and if I'm honest, this has been the most awful car buying experience I've ever had.


I'm now going to offer you a detailed case study on how not to buy a used car:

This is the story of how Steph and I purchased a lemon bomb of a terrible car and then blew $600 extra dollars on a car I never truly owned.

We started out two weeks ago with your typical internet searches and used car lot shopping. Our goal was something truly inexpensive - cash only - reliable enough to get Steph through for the next year, 10 miles of driving a day. We had some decent leads, but nothing remarkable. But then we stumbled upon a '97 Infiniti i30.

The price was right: $2,500. The car looked good on the outside and according to the owner - a private seller - had been an extremely reliable car for the past two years. Now hear me through. Regardless of the debacle about to unfold, I still have no ill feelings toward the seller... he's a good, honest guy and I think we both got sucker punched.

The Ill Fated Purchase
After a couple test drives we decided to buy the car. We were both comfortable with it, were aware of it's known quirks, and were anxious to make a purchase because I was leaving town for the week.

Now it's important to know that I, a fool from Minnesota, bought a car with the 'check engine' light on. Um, OOPS!! In my naivety I didn't think that a 'check engine' light was a big deal, and in Minnesota it's not. We don't perform emissions tests in Minnesota and growing up it seems my family has always owned a car with that silly light on. It's not a big deal - usually some obscure electrical fluke.

Well, in Davidson County, Tennessee they don't treat the little orange light as obscure. As soon as we bought the car we took it to the testing facility where it promptly failed. The $10 test indicated that our Knock Sensor and Speed Sensor were failing.

Flailing Attempts To Fix Our Failing Car
We figured we should take it to the closest mechanic shop to see what was up, so off to Christian Brothers Auto. They charged us $85 for a diagnostics test - likely used a piece of equipment that cost little more than that - and told us our Knock Sensor and Speed Sensor were failing, and causing the 'check engine' indicator.

Estimated cost to replace both sensors: $938.

After gathering the bits of shattered bone lying on the floor from our jaws dropping, we hightailed it out of there.

May I Have A Second Opinion?
Since the car was in fair working condition I left town for my road trip, leaving Steph with the new Infiniti for the week. Miraculously it worked ok while I was gone.

Then on Friday when I got back we took the car to a local mechanic, recommended by a friend whom we knew could be trusted. He again charged us $75 for a diagnostics test and told us that the Knock Sensor and Speed Sensor were failing. Thank you for the insight.

But this particular mechanic did offer some helpful advice and cautioned us that these error codes we were seeing were likely the result of other hidden issues impossible to detect, most likely an imminent car computer failure ($800+ to fix). Our $2500 car was quickly becoming a $5000 money pit, just to pass the emissions test, and I guarantee this car was NOT worth $5000.

3rd Down And 9: Punt
By this point we are quite angry and beyond frustrated. It's clear we have to unload this worthless piece of junk - this ridiculous lemon of a car. So we went to CarMax to get a quote for dumping it.

$1200 is what they offered.

But that was before the alternator failed on our way out of the parking lot.

On A Search For Grace
Please understand the fury I am trying to restrain within myself at this point on a cold Friday night.

The long and short is I've got nearly $3000 sunk into a car that I've purchased and desperately need to get rid of. But I cannot even sell it!! I cannot sell the car because I technically don't "own" it. I don't own it because I can't get a clean title. I can't get a clean title because I can't get it registered. I can't get it registered because I can't pass the emissions test. And I can't pass the emissions test because total repairs will cost me well in excess of $2500. And this I can't afford.

Reluctantly I call the previous owner who sold me this time bomb on wheels and explain my awful plight. I present a scenario where either he buys the car back from us at a reduced price, or he helps us sell it at CarMax (because we need his signature).

He requests some time to think about it. Steph and I go to bed stressed out of our ever-loving minds.

Meanwhile...
Meanwhile we begin shopping for another new car for Steph, knowing that one way or another the Infiniti is going bye-bye. We spend a better portion of Saturday traipsing all over Southern Tennessee used car dealerships.

And then somehow, in an act of charity I'm still trying to comprehend, the previous owner of the ill fated Infiniti calls and offers a full $2500 buyback of the car. Talk about dodging a bullet. In a moment of gracious weakness I offer to help him split the cost of fixing the alternator since it "happened on my watch".

Adding Insult To Injury
My act of charity involves getting the car to an affordable mechanic to fix the alternator, so after some phone calls Monday morning I get the thing hauled to Firestone. $400 repair on the way.

I spend the rest of Monday and then Tuesday (today) shopping for cars (this time from dealers... no more private sellers). And I've learned my lesson here as well: demand that the car be taken to a mechanic for review.

Adding insult to injury, on my way back from a mechanic reviewing a car, I get pulled over by Nashville's finest on Old Hickory Boulevard. This particular cop is unhappy that I am driving 50 in a 45, and is also curious if I can show the registration and proof of insurance for the car... which I explain that I cannot because it's obviously a dealer's car (hence dealer plates on the back). He is not all that amused and proceeds to cite me for all three offenses.

Total cost of the moving and non-moving violations: $162

Oh, then Firestone called and said the alternator on the Infiniti was fixed, but the battery is now dead.

New battery: $80.

Infiniti = Infinite Problems
I'm sure many people own Infiniti's and don't have a problem, but my two week experience was excruciatingly painful.

Finally this evening we made a purchase on a new car for Steph (an Acura), and we unloaded the Infiniti on the previous owner (which I feel bad about, but it was necessary).

So here's a tally of the total damage...

Lessons Learned
I'll leave you with these final tidbits of advice...

• Never buy a car with the check engine light on; it will fail emissions test
• Never buy a car without first having it checked out by a mechanic you trust
• Don't speed while test driving a car
• Ask the dealer where they keep the registration and proof of insurance before you leave the lot
• Kelley Blue Book and Edmunds.com are your friend
• Make friends with a mechanic - I highly recommend Tom Chubb at American Tire (Antioch) or Blake Sellars at Firestone (Brentwood)
• Don't buy a used '97 Infiniti i30
  

why i quit my job and got a new one

Assuming there's an outside chance that one of my few diligent readers hasn't heard yet, a couple weeks ago I resigned my position with EMI and accepted a new job with Word Entertainment as their Director of Digital Sales & Marketing.

This is a good thing! (People always ask me that... I tell them I switched jobs and they give me that, 'oh, really?' as though my dog died or something). So I have to sound excited when I say it, because I am excited!

Anyways, after nearly 5 years at EMI, switching companies is a big deal - it was an incredibly hard decision to make, and didn't come easily. I have a ton of great friends at EMI, and not working with them everyday is going to be sad. EMI had become home, just like highschool had become home, and then college. Additionally, I really respect a lot of people at EMI - they have great and supportive leadership, and from the top down some brilliant minds that I have learned a lot from. But now it's onto something new.

So, why did I leave? There are a few reasons...

• At Word I'll be working for a record label instead of a distribution company. This means instead of working nearly 250 releases in a year, it will be more like 20 - if that. Ideally this means that I'll have the opportunity to create a closer relationship with the artists I work with, and dig deeper into each release - spending the time on each one that they deserve.

• At Word I'll be working with all digital download, streaming, and mobile accounts. Previously I had 95% of my focus on iTunes, which was necessary, primarily because of the amount of titles I had running through the system. Ideally now I'll be able to dig a little deeper with each one - there's some cool new accounts doing some great things, and I'm excited to have the opportunity to spend some time with them.

• Word has a different perspective on approaching digital music and internet marketing. Not to say that Word has the 'right' way, and EMI the 'wrong' - it's just different and I need that fresh perspective. Like I said, I'll be working within the label, and they're putting a lot of focus on 360 degree artist deals, direct-to-consumer commerce, and fully integrated internet marketing teams. I'm looking forward to being part of a bigger team, and in a position to have more open discussion with radio, A&R, and so forth.
  

So that's the brief run down. My last day with EMI was October 8th, and I don't start with Word until November 3rd (which means I've been enjoying the most amazing fall break ever). This is my last week on my own, which I am doing my best to dedicate towards completely refreshing myself. I've been reading some good books, enjoying some good coffee, taking some nice trips, and trying to refrain from anything that reminds me too much of corporate gobbledigook.

picturing myself backpacking

Less than a month from now we leave for Colorado for our summer backpacking trip with my family. I am truly excited for this because it has been far too long since I’ve been packing in the Rockies.

This will be Steph’s first time backpacking, so that’s going to be an adventure in and of itself. She’s a little concerned about the bear issue though, and I’m not really sure how to reassure her that things are going to be ok. Truthfully I’ve never seen a bear while backpacking, and I figure as long as you make a decent amount of noise while you’re moving along the trail, and don’t keep beef jerky in your tent at night you’ll be ok. She’s not convinced though.

We have a couple of goals to outfit ourselves with some camera gear before we leave. First of all, we need to hook up Steph with a new digital camera because the one she currently has, I believe, is running DOS as it’s operating system. I think it measures resolution in Kilo-pixels. This is obviously unacceptable, so we’re gonna fix that.

As for myself, I’m all analog. As much as I’m all about the techie stuff I have a great appreciation for good ol’ black and white photos captured on film, and I enjoy removing myself from digital world when I go out to take pictures. I have a very nice SLR that I’ve had for a few years, but I’m in desperate need of a new lens. Ultimately I’m looking for a good wide-angle lens as well as a nice zoom lens. I’ve been seeing some good deals recently on lenses, so I may in fact try to find myself a wide-angle lens this weekend, as that will be the best lens for big mountain scenery pictures.

Which reminds me… something I want to do by the end of the calendar year is to try my hand at developing my own film. I’ve been reading up on developing 35mm film and my understanding is that it’s relatively uncomplicated. I need to do some additional studying to see if that’s something I can pull together over the next few months. Note to self – need to add this to the 101 in 1001 list.

Other note to self – review your 101 in 1001 list because you haven’t looked at it in months, and let’s face it, time is ticking.

goodbye and hello

So it’s been pointed out to me several times now that I haven’t blogged recently. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

In truth I’ve been taking a bit of an intentional “sabbatical” from writing because, well, because I wanted to. And it’s been nice. I’ve enjoyed stepping away from feeling the pressure to keep on the blog from week to week. Also, I've been embracing the world of micro-blogging via Twitter, and that's been fun too, keeping the world up to date 140 characters at a time.

So I would say the biggest news from the last month is the fact that we had to retire our dear purple Cavalier – the fine piece of American machinery that we purchased from good friend and ex-blogger Timmy a few years ago. We pushed it past 200,000 miles earlier this spring, but the transmission finally gave in on us, and it just cost too much to fix.

So, we went out searching and in one short weekend actually found a car that we really liked! We landed on an 2003 Mitsubishi Galant that we picked up from a used car dealer in Murphreesboro. We like it a lot, and it’s treating us well. Can I just say that I truly enjoy entering the 21st Century by now having a car that has power windows, power locks, tinted windows, and brakes that don’t shake like an earthquake every time I try to stop. And as much as I like a manual transmission, I don’t have to sit in rush hour traffic arguing with a clutch anymore, and that is glorious.

Thanks for bearing with me through my sabbatical. I hope to offer up additional reading material soon.

culture shock

I had a disturbing conversation with Steph this morning that I felt the need to share. It started as an offhand discussion we had this weekend regarding race and marriage and whether or not it was acceptable for people of different races to marry each other.

Both Steph and I are from Minnesota, so I think our views of this are in general a little more accepting than maybe other parts of the country. Neither of us think that interracial marriage is inherently wrong. If two people love one another and they want to get married, then they should, regardless of what color their skin is.

Steph works outside of the city (Nashville) - that is to say, she works with a handful of true red-blooded Southerners. She decided to do a little investigation Monday and get their take on the whole interracial marriage bit. What she discovered really shocked me. I was naively living under the assumption that we've made great strides in overcoming racism over the past few decades in America. I was wrong. Here's a smattering of responses:

• "My dad would kill me if I brought a black man home for dinner."
• "My pastor taught us growing up that it was wrong to marry black people."
• "If you spend too much time with black people you start to act and talk like them."
• "The Bible says not to associate with people from different cultures."
• "I don't want to hang around black people because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."
• "There's a difference between black people and niggers. There are some good black people, but then niggers are like the black version of white-trash, and it's just not right to associate with those people."
• "It's a sin for people of different races to marry."

Allow me to be very clear here: If you agree with any of these statements you are wrong and you disgust me.

I cannot believe that in 2008 we are still using the Bible to justify our cowardly selfish racist mindsets. That is absolutely utterly shocking to me. I'm sorry I was so naive to think that we had progressed beyond this sick and disgusting state. I also can't believe that I have to spend a blog post outlining why the above statements are the most ridiculous and stupid things I have ever heard.

Specifically my comments are aimed at white Christian Americans who find themselves agreeing with some semblance of the above statements:

God Does Not Operate On A Class System:
At the core of all these statements is this sentiment that one race is better than another - that somehow God has selected white American's as the preferred culture of people, and all other races are lesser and degraded forms of the above. Sounds like a Nazi propaganda if you ask me... while we're at it, should we weed out the blond haired, blue eyed folks and just do off with the rest of us?

When it comes to a "chosen" race in the eyes of God, I assure you it's not white Protestant Americans... it's the Jewish people of ancient Israel. This is a culture through which God first spoke and demonstrated his love - and wrath. What color do you think their skin was? The great thing for all races though is that he made His love accessible to all of us through the death and resurrection of Jesus... this is the reason we all get to share in the blessings of God. The Apostle Paul effectively tore down the barriers of race throughout his life and persistent ministry to those outside the Jewish culture. All are welcome at God's table.

It Is Not A Sin To Associate With Other Races:
I'm having trouble figuring this one out - where did this idea come from that white people aren't to associate with black people, or anyone else of another race? Since when are Christians isolationists? Weren't Christ's last words on earth "Go into all the world and preach the good news"? This doesn't sound like separation to me... rather, this sounds like a command to start making some diverse groups of friends. And no, I don't simply mean a four day mission trip to Columbia - the gospel of Christ is a genuine message of relationship that speaks to true lasting friendships and acceptance of people from all walks of life.

It Is Not A Sin To Marry Outside Your Race:
I understand that precedent and tradition have led to a general societal taboo of interracial marriages, and that is what it is. But it doesn't make these marriages wrong. For Christian's to take a verse like Genesis 28:1, "So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: 'Do not marry a Canaanite woman,'" and then improperly conclude that God has commanded Christians not to marry individuals of other races are incorrect in their interpretation.

This command, and ones like it, speak to spiritual matters - not racial matters. The Canaanite culture of the time was known for their blatant disregard of God, and as such, it would not be right for a Jewish person to be married to someone who did not share their worldview and belief set. Likewise, it would be unwise for a Christian to pledge their life to an individual who does not share their beliefs, but again I emphasize, this has nothing to do with race.

---

It really saddens and frustrates me that thoughts like the ones I listed above are prevalent in our culture - it really irritates me that I'm hearing these thoughts from a group of self-professed Christians. I'm certainly not trying to say that Christians are "morally better" than the rest of society, however, Christians have been given an example in the Bible as to how we should treat and interact with the people around us. We need to strive towards this and as a faith-group set a positive example of how to treat those around us with respect and without prejudice.

You tell me if you think I'm out of line here, but I think you'll be hard pressed to find an argument that holds water.

we are the beggars (part 2)

I spent my last post outlining the various methods by which the homeless beg for money - intentionally a little tongue-in-cheek, though I acknowledge that the root problem is truly not at all funny. As I was writing, an interesting parallel popped into my mind that has proven extremely difficult to get out in words:

The homeless, in the way they approach us for money, are not all that different from us in the way we approach God for salvation.

I think a lot of times we feel spiritually homeless in this world - like we're in a place we don't quite belong but we have to do what we can to get by. We call it home, but it's not quite home.

Those of us who are Christians are quick to point out that our promise of salvation is "by grace, through faith" - that God is the one who reached down to us and offered a way out. And we're quite satisfied with that, for a time...

But before too long we get wrapped up in Bible studies, and serving at church, and going on mission trips, and working with the youth group, and making sure we're listening to the right music, and making sure we're reading the right books. We pick up a new vocabulary, a new group of friends, a new schedule for our week.

And then we start to judge ourselves based on the actions of our week... Did I pray enough? Did I read enough? Did I say the right things?

The answer is always 'no'.

Of course you didn't. You did not pray enough. You did not read enough. You did not say the right things... you certainly didn't think the right things.

So where does this leave us? It leaves us in this awkward, guilt-ridden state where we spend our days conning ourselves into thinking that we can beg our way back into God's good graces. And so we musicians strap on a guitar and sing another worship song. We wanderer's sign up for another mission trip and go halfway around the world for a week. We spiritually-insane run from one ministry to the next, spinning our wheels trying to give a piece of ourselves in a youth-group here, a small group there, a devotional study here.

Most of us simply stand by pitifully, motionless as the days and weeks pass by, unable to move out of the guilt engulfed grip sin has on our lives. As Brennan Manning has said,

"We are the beggars at the foot of God's door."

As much as we want to believe we are "saved by grace through faith", we live as though we can work our way in. But we simply can't. Grace is grace, and as for all our charades and all our antics, He looks past it all and grasps for the tiniest bit of faith that we still show in our hearts, and then pulls us in.

The last post posed the question, "What do we do when we're confronted with the homeless?" I'm not at all certain of the answer, still. Yet here I am, as homeless and miserable as anyone, and God's answer to me has been and always will be complete and absolute grace. And I fail to comprehend that. Most of the time I even fail to accept it. But I'm convinced that where He is ultimately leading me is a place of such desolation and helplessness that eventually I will finally realize that the only remaining constant there has been through my 26 years of missteps, mistrust, and mis-faith has been grace. And when I do finally get it, it is going to radically shift my life.

We are the beggars at the foot of God's door, and he has welcomed us in.

we are the beggars (part 1)

It was pointed out to me that San Francisco has a lot of homeless people... more than many cities, I presume largely because of the temperate climate year round. As I was wandering around downtown the other night, I couldn't help but notice the different methods by which the homeless would beg for money. There are five main ones that I've noticed over time, as follows...

The Musician: Probably the most common, or well known, way to solicit money is by demonstrating talent as a street musician. It's unobtrusive in that they don't need to hassle anyone for cash. It's just a matter of setting up shop on some well trafficked corner, putting out a guitar case (or saxophone case, or accordion case) and making music for hours on end. Sometimes these guys are quite good - there was this one street musician in San Fran who was working a corner by my hotel playing all sorts of buckets as drums... very tribal, I actually kind of liked it.

The Tour Guide: Steph and I ran across one of these in Atlanta one time. We were there celebrating Valentine's Day, looking for a place to eat downtown, and this nice friendly guy walks up to us and welcomes us to the fine city of Atlanta. He asks a little bit about us, and then inquires if we are looking for a nice place to eat - we say we are - and he proceeds to give us about 8 different, and well qualified, suggestions. Then about five minutes later he moves in for the hard-sell... "Hey, I helped you find a place to eat... can I get a little cash?" These guys target the tourists and travelers who aren't well acquainted with the city, and generally have a business sense about them that is less abrasive than other methods.

The Wanderer: The Wanderer's are the few who live with hope. Their lot in life will be changed as soon as they get enough money to board a bus, or hitch a ride, to insert random city name here . For them they believe it's a location problem... their troubles will be solved in Chicago, or Memphis, or Phoenix, and naturally they have some long-lost relative who is going to help them get their start in random city , and I'm certain that relative is truly looking forward to seeing them.

The Insane: These guys are crazy, literally. They're on the move and cover more square blocks in one night than most taxi drivers. These are the guys who have a coffee can permanently affixed to their left hand, and with their right arm they are running up and down the sidewalk at lighting speed shouting, waving, and in general, acting extremely animated in attempts to get your attention. You cannot understand a single word they say. I imagine these guys are generally the drug-seekers... you know, the one's who promise you that all they need to move on in life is to go down to the McDonald's and get a hamburger... until you offer to buy them a hamburger and suddenly getting food is the worst idea they have ever heard.

The Pitiful: These ones make your heart break. They're retired Musicians and Tour Guides. They're Wanderer's who got to their destination and realized it wasn't any different than the city they came from. They're Insanes who have grown weary. If they're lucky they have a jacket. Their shoulders are slumped, and they don't move very fast anymore. The coffee can is long gone - they only stick out a hand in silence, their only indication that they need money from you because they do not, or can not, speak.

San Francisco was interesting in this regard. I definitely saw all types, and you always wonder... 'Do I give him money, or am I just adding fuel to the problem?' I don't know what the answer is, even after living in big cities for 10 years now. I will say one thing though... I never saw so many people actually lying down on the sidewalk to sleep on a bed of newspapers. You had to wonder if some of them are even alive.

So now I ask you, fine readers, what do you do? Do you give them the cash? Do you ignore them and walk on by?

Christians are called to help the poor, which sounds good on paper, but when the situation arises, we're hurrying on our way to some important place, and we don't have the time to take them down to the local shelter, or buy them a burger at McDonalds... or even just take a moment to treat them like a real human being and listen to their story.

random monday update

I'm just going to tell you right now this will be a boring post. If you want to be really bored, keep on reading:

I go to San Francisco this week for a sales meeting with a fruit company. That should be interesting.

Gotta give props to Flash for the great recommendation on the band Stateless... really liking this self-titled album. It's an interesting blend of Brit-rock, electronic trip-hop, and ambient soundscapes. There are elements of Radiohead, Massive Attack, and a hint of Sigur Ros throughout... all good influences.

While I'm talking about Flash, head on over to his blog to answer his question of the week about embryonic stem cell research. I don't know what my answer is yet.

Twitter is interesting. I find this strange compulsion to broadcast my rageful inner thoughts on the thing, and somehow at the last second find the willpower to not press 'send'.

I've heard of people having internet addictions. I wonder if I'm coming down with one.

Prison Break is over for this season. I really thought they were going to end it this time around, but looks like we will have another season. I like the show a lot, though the beginning of this their third season was a little far fetched. Oh well, just a TV show right?

Something walloped our house in the middle of the night two nights ago. Like really hard... I thought there would be a dent in the side of the house. There wasn't.

George Bush Sr. "endorses John McCain" today. Goodie.

I agree with Tim that the Knight Rider movie Sunday night was an absolute travesty. I gotta admit that I was really looking forward to it, and also gotta admit that I couldn't stand more than about 8 minutes of that horrendous show.

Tim also says piano playing is for stupid heads... yeah, I'm just gonna let that one sit.

back from the dead

Tim, your car nearly died this week. [I drive Tim's old car]

I was backing out of my parking spot on Tuesday, put it into first gear, then went to second, and I wasn't able to shift from there. It was permanently stuck in second - couldn't even get it to neutral. I figured that was it, the transmission was blown, it would cost untold thousands to fix, and that would be the end. Tuesday night I drove it for three miles in second gear through Brentwood to the mechanic - Steph drove behind me in her boss's truck, we both had our flashers on - I said to her, "It's like we're in a parade... a parade of losers."

Turns out it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The shifter cable had frayed and broken, resulting in my inability to remove it from gear. And while it hurt financially to fix it, it wasn't as bad as a new transmission, and certainly not as bad as having to buy a new car on the spot.

I'm determined to get this car to 200,000 miles... then I'll feel like I accomplished something. We're extremely close. At the same time, it was a reminder that we probably ought to start shopping for a second car, so we're going to do that.

autumn in five hundred words or more

Autumn does weird things to me. Autumn is the best season of the year, but I find that I'm generally the most dissatisfied with life during these months. Something about the changing colors of the leaves, the coolness in the air, rainy afternoons, darkness coming earlier. It makes me quiet.

Autumn is the season of time slipping away.I find myself listening to highly emotive music during autumn: Sigur Ros, Fionn Regan, The Frames, the new Radiohead album. This music seems to capture everything I feel, but I can't tell you what those things are. That's just between me and the song.

It's raining right now. I'm sitting at a coffeeshop outside of Chicago. Radiohead's song "Reckoner" sounds like the sun rising.

I wonder if artists ever give thought to the time of year that they release their albums. Music has a season. Well, I should say, that certain types of music remind you of certain seasons of life. Autumn is not the season of pop music. Autumn is for Sigur Ros, Fionn Regan, The Frames, and the new Radiohead album. This is when they should release their album. Matchbox20 should have waited until summer. But labels don't think about that - they just want to get it out in time for Christmas so that their stock price goes up and shareholders are happy.

Work has difficult recently. With so much music, much of it sounding the same and mediocre, it's easy to get jaded. Many of these artists are legit, and they mean what they write, but I'm so far removed from all that that it's often hard to tell the difference. "Can you get me homepage on iTunes?" I don't know... maybe... can you make your album not suck?

I think I'll get some coffee.

I'm not sure what I'm passionate about right now. Some days it's music, some days it's climbing mountains. Some days it's theology, and others it's... well, whatever... I feel mediocre at a lot of things. I hate mediocrity. I have trouble staying focused on things. Time is slipping away with the autumn and I want to keep moving. I do not want to sit in a cubicle anymore.

I'm in Chicago this weekend helping Beau book some gigs with college campuses. I love talking to the college kids, I wish we had more time to do it. That's hands on music industry right there.

If I could make some of these side businesses profitable I could easily get passionate about that. They don't seem to want to be profitable right now. I might be stuck in the cubicle for a while.

I think we should move to Montana, live off the land, and climb mountains.

And study theology.

And write music.

Autumn just makes me feel empty. I'm happy that the colors are changing and that the air is cool, but I don't feel happy. The rain and darkness do not make me feel sad. It's just quiet and quiet equals empty, and I'd rather not talk about it. It's good for a drive, across Indiana - long, flat, boring, endless Indiana, with the rain coming down and Radiohead's song "Reckoner" playing asking the sun to rise.

so much to do, so little time

So I'm starting something new... at Jon's prompting, I've begun my list of "101 Things To Do in 1001 Days". You can check out the list as it takes shape at burnsheads101.blogspot.com.

ashley

Two years ago my friend Ashley was diagnosed with cancer… again. When she was in highschool (before I knew her) she had already had a bout with it, but with a lot of cemo came through it ok. But this time was really bad. It had gotten into her bones and was affecting her spine and the base of her tailbone. I don’t know a lot about cancer, but I know that when it gets that deep it’s not a good thing. Medically they were out of options.

The doctor’s gave her three months to live, and we braced for the worst.

Ashley is one of the sweetest, most caring, Godly girls I know, and like it always does with people like that, it just pains you to face the reality that they could die very soon. I remember in those first few weeks I was so diligent about praying for her. I took it upon myself to be her prayer warrior (as many did I’m sure). There were days I would pray multiple times, begging God on her behalf to heal her in the midst of such a tragic outlook. Other days I would be really rushed, but would not fail to pray at least once, even if just for a few seconds. It was a good experience to be so closely and purposefully tied to something I was praying for – a lot times I feel my prayers are meaningless, and drifting off into empty space. But praying for someone’s life wasn’t meaningless. I remember feeling good about myself as I prayed daily for her – one month turned into two, which turned into three.

Summer rolled around, and I figured she was living on borrowed time. I was grateful for that, for her sake – more time to spend with her family and such. And as the weeks drew on, my habitual praying eventually slowed down and then altogether stopped. It’s weird how that works. The first few months I was in such a driven, almost panicked state, but then as time goes on the sense of urgency dwindles.

Over the summer Ashley and her mom started looking into some alternative treatments for the cancer. They looked into a lot of nutritionally based stuff, and some really advanced radiation treatment. Some stuff seemed to help, but it was hard to tell. Ashley’s mom would send us email updates from her clinic in Houston, and you know how those are… she tries to stay really positive but you can read between the lines and know things aren’t going all that well.

Time goes on. Six months turns into a year, which turns into a year and a half… in October we get an email saying that the most recent scans show that the tumors have spread and grown. One is pushing against her pancreas. Another is located at the base of her neck – not a good place for a tumor. And while I want to stay positive, and stay faithful, deep down I know it’s just a matter of time. They’ve been doing some pretty invasive cemo on her, and I know it’s getting her down – emotionally, physically, etc.

And now it’s December. I haven’t heard an update from Ashley in quite a while, which honestly is typical… when things aren’t going all that well, the updates are a lot less frequent.

So I’m walking out of my house this morning and I get a text from my friend Brian that says, “Ashley is healed! The cancer is gone!”. WHAT! I call him up and get the full story – it’s true, the cancer is gone. Ashley took a step of faith a couple months ago and decided to stop the radiation for the time being… and what do you know, the girl doesn’t have one trace of a tumor in her. They did a full CT scan last week and she’s completely clean! Amazing.

I’m awed and amazed. I’m so happy for Ashley. I’m disappointed in myself for not continuing to have faith throughout the whole thing. I can’t comprehend the power of supernatural healing, but I’m glad it still happens.

Merry Christmas Ashley.