stop online piracy in five easy steps

This article popped up in my feed yesterday... all I could do was roll my eyes and share it with you. At first I was going to blame this on Reuters (mainstream media) attempting to offer insightful commentary on the music industry. Then I looked closer at the article credits today, saw Billboard was involved, and realized we've all been royally punk'd.

Anyways, according to people that think-they-know, these are the "Five Easy Steps" to cutting short the leak of your new hit record on the internets, including such worldly wisdom as...

COMMUNICATE WITH FANS: In cases where the leaked album is not the final version, artists and labels should get the word out to fans that what's available online is not the finished product. The goal is to convince them to wait for the final, official version by promising better sound quality or other bonuses.

I mean, you're kidding me right? Tell me these people aren't serious. This article treats online piracy like it's a couple four-year-olds screwing around in the back seat... "OK kids, settle down, or I'm turning this car around!" And seriously, the article title - Five Easy Steps To Plug Online Music Leaks - Really? Really??

While they're at it, they should have thrown in a #6 - Call up the RIAA and have them sue the pants off everyone under the age of 20 on the pretense they're "guilty-by-association".